Yasmin Shiraz

When will these mob-like attacks go out of style? A 16 year old honor student lost his life when a group of kids beat him to death. Somebody, get your kid. This type of violence is outta control. Before anybody says, this ain’t my kid, this ain’t my brother, this ain’t anybody I know, everybody needs to get real. Its happening too often, in too many communities for it not to be anybody that you know. Sit down, TODAY, and talk to a young somebody about violence. And young people, you know you can email me and we can connect all day about violence. It truly is not the answer. Visit www.talkretaliation.net and see that movement over there as well. What do you think this kid’s parents feel about how he died. Its a tragedy.

Well, I’m sure you’ve all heard about Tyra Banks showing the world her REAL hair. I think its awesome that Tyra has encouraged so many of us to drop the weave, wig and other stuff to allow our natural hair to be seen. I think we should have a positive attitude about our hair and love ourselves no matter what type of hair that we have. But, I am also gonna be real for a minute. When I was growing up there were many girls whose hair wouldn’t grow longer than my pinkie finger and the weave gave them access to princess locks. Even though it wasn’t growing from the scalp, they felt prettier with the added on hair. There were many girls whose edges were so broken that having a weave allowed them to cover up that baldness and appear to have a full head of hair. Again, the weave gave them a sense of prettiness that they didn’t feel on their own. I think that self-esteem and hair has become so intertwined for women/girls that its hard for many of us to let get of the weave, wig, and extensions. “If long hair is in and my own hair won’t grow, I’m gonna buy me some.” That is the sentiment that many people have. I think the key is to be happy with who you are, no matter if your hair is real or fake.

I’m gonna be real some more. Attitudes about hair have a lot to do with what kind of hair that you have and if it’ll grow. I’ve been known to wear wigs and weaves, but the reality is that my hair is shoulder length and its wavy. So I can tell people to take their weave out, but the reality is: My hair is as long as a weave. But what about the people who love long hair and their own hair won’t grow. Is it realistic for us to tell them to love their short hair, when all they really want is for their hair to grow longer? I think girls/women whose own hair doesn’t grow very long have a different attitude about wearing weaves/wigs. What do you think?

In my numerous workshops with teens, I’ve learned that oral sex has become more and more common. It made me want to share the video below, that notes that oral sex is more popular now than it was 25 years ago. Though this video is not brand new it brings to light the opinion of this generation as it relates to oral sex. So, my thought for today is: Talk to young people about oral sex. Talk about the risks and the rumors. The best we can do for young people is equip them with the knowledge to make the best decisions that they can.

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Are you a teen contemplating having oral sex for the first time? What advice would you give a teen who is contemplating having oral sex? We wanna know…

My debut film, Can She Be Saved? won a 2009 Indie Award of Merit in the short documentary category by The Indie Fest. The Indie Fest recognizes filmmakers and honors outstanding achievement. If you would like me to visit your town for a Can She Be Saved? screening, email me–yshiraz at yasminshiraz.net. Copies of the film will be available for sale in October 2009. If you haven’t seen the trailer, watch below.

I must admit when I saw Kanye get on stage and essentially “diss” Taylor Swift and her video and the people who voted for her at the VMAs, I was appalled. For every Kanye West album that I had, for every time that I sang Kanye West’s creative praises, I was sick to my stomach. “There was no excuse for his behavior,” I yelled while running downstairs to tell my family what he’d done. As an artist who believes that artists should support each other, I couldn’t believe that Kanye would have done that to an artist as talented and inspiring as Taylor Swift. I shake my head every time his VMA performance replays in my head. Kanye showed that as an artist, he wants to be heard and respected, but he doesn’t want anyone else to be. An artist who respects no one, loses his fans, and ultimately his art. I’m not gonna blame his actions on the grieving process of the untimely passing of his mother, Dr. Donda West. I don’t know why Kanye got on stage and did what he did. To be such a gifted artist, I have no words to say except: Kanye, look inwardly. Its dark where you are right now.

And now without further adieu, here’s his apology on Jay Leno. Do we believe him? Is he being sincere? You be the judge.

I wanna react and respond to Chris Brown on Larry King last night. I felt he seemed genuinely sorry for his actions. I also thought it was important that his mother stated REPEATEDLY that he had never had any prior incidents of violence in his entire life. Not having prior incidents was extremely important because it shows that he doesn’t have a history as a violent abuser. Many comments scrolled along the bottom of the TV screen during the show. Many people seemed to think he got off easy, some people think he’ll beat other women, etc. There were a few comments that mentioned forgiveness and giving him the opportunity to redeem himself. During the interview Chris Brown mentioned that people feed on “negativity.” I think that is absolutely true. I think many people are happy that this has happened to him. In their minds and hearts they say, “See you didn’t deserve to be a superstar. And so now, I’m not gonna forgive you or allow you to get pass it.”

I think people’s past histories should go a long way to determining if they are capable of being forgiven or moving forward. Many people have written Chris Brown off for an act he committed when he was 19 years old, that there is no prior incidents from school or other relationships. I think that is wrong. Chris grew up in a household in which he saw his mother abused and unfortunately in the interview, his mother didn’t take ANY RESPONSIBILITY of how that negative situation must have impacted him. Growing up in a household where people are physically abused does not give you the right to become an abuser, but it does explain a propensity for violence and/or one’s need to resolve conflict through violent means. Violence can be a learned behavior.

The sadness that I pulled from the interview is that Chris, like other kids, was obviously negatively impacted by violence in his life and the one person that he should have been able to go to for understanding to help him grow is clearly in denial. If I am his mother and I deny the impact that seeing me be beaten has had on him, how can I help him to nurture himself so that he does not violently abuse again? Denial helps no one.

As a final note I’d like to say 5 years of probation and hard labor for one incident of beating your girlfriend is not getting off easy. There are men out there who have beat their wives REPEATEDLY and had to stay in jail one night and cool off. Those one night offenders often went on to kill their wives. The fact that Chris Brown has to be watched and do hard labor for 5 years is no joke. If he even steps out the line, one time, he’ll be in jail. Look at Domestic Violence cases for first time offenders and you’ll see that he did not get off easy.

Furthermore, since this case has so many people riled up, I encourage you to donate your time as I have at Battered Women shelters throughout the country and learn something about domestic violence. In addition, talk to your congressmen about domestic violence laws and make sure that NOBODY gets off easy.