Domestic Violence Help

Welcome to this episode of Live Better with your host Yasmin Shiraz… This episode is gonna be different from some of our other episodes in that I decided to do a special segment dealing with domestic violence in light of the recent death of Whitney Houston’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina. In case you haven’t heard, she died at the age of 22 after being found in a bathtub facedown. I began reading lots articles about what led up to the incident and found an article on www.eoline.com in which a “best friend” stated that Bobbi Kristina was in fact, a victim of domestic violence. Let me say up front, I don’t know if she was a victim of domestic violence. What I do know is: I feel compelled to do a podcast dealing with this subject because domestic violence is real and this podcast will share some tell tales signs of emotional abuse, give tips on preparing a safety plan, provide a hotline number and information to women’s shelters.

Domestic Violence Help

When I was a senior at Hampton University, I wrote my undergraduate thesis on Domestic Violence. I volunteered at a battered women’s shelter, worked the hotline and talked with numerous women who were victims of domestic violence. Here are some interesting statistics:

On average, 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States — more than 12 million women and men over the course of a year.

Nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively)

Females ages 18 to 24 and 25 to 34 generally experienced the highest rates of intimate partner violence.

Before I go any further, I’d like to thank: TheHotline.org which provided those statistics and has plenty of resources for domestic violence victims, survivors and people who want to support those who’ve been victimized.

Some abuse is obviously physical, but most domestic violence begins with emotional abuse. I want to share some of the tell tale signs of emotional abuse. Here they are:

  • Telling you that you can never do anything right
  • Showing jealousy of your friends and time spent away
  • Keeping you or discouraging you from seeing friends or family members
  • Embarrassing or shaming you with put-downs
  • Controlling every penny spent in the household
  • Taking your money or refusing to give you money for expenses
  • Looking at you or acting in ways that scare you
  • Controlling who you see, where you go, or what you do
  • Preventing you from making your own decisions
  • Telling you that you are a bad parent or threatening to harm or take away your children
  • Preventing you from working or attending school
  • Destroying your property or threatening to hurt or kill your pets
  • Intimidating you with guns, knives or other weapons
  • Pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
  • Pressuring you to use drugs or alcohol

A lot of times women don’t realize that they’re in an abusive relationship until it’s too late. Emotional abuse often becomes physical abuse.

Every person in a relationship has a right to be loved, respected and treated well.

An argument or disagreement does not have to become an emotionally or physically abusive situation. Often emotional abuse leads a person to feel isolated and they don’t have anyone to talk to… So before I go any further, I want to give the number to the National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233.

I was always thankful that women’s shelters existed–for many, it was the only place they could go when a loved one became a monster. A lot of women who are in this situation, don’t know what a safety plan is or how to come up with one. You can get a copy of a safety plan on www.thehotline.org. Here are some points of a safety plan:

  1. Getting a protective order from the District/ County Attorney’s Office.
  2. Opening a checking/saving account in your own name.
  3. Identifying a safe place where you can go and someone.
  4. Having a shelter phone number and a calling card.
  5. Informing someone at work of your situation so they know if you’re in trouble.
  6. Never revealing where you live to your abuser.

There is more information on a safety plan on www.thehotline.org. But, before we go, I also wanted to say,

YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE SAFE.

And, here’s a website which lists all shelters for women and families throughout the US. This is a state by state listing of shelters for women, transitional housing, family shelters and the like: Womenshelters.org

The site janedoe.org has a great section on how to find help for someone you know who is dealing with domestic violence. I want to share that site information with you, here’s the link:  Domestic Violence Help – That particle article talks about how to help someone in crisis and how to be supportive to them.

Thanks for listening to this special episode of Live Better with your host Yasmin Shiraz. If you have any questions or topics that you’d like me to address on this podcast, please email me yshiraz@yasminshiraz.net. If you enjoyed listening, please leave a review on iTunes and share this podcast with your friends, family and social networks.

Peace & Love,

Yasmin

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